


flickering blue

by kornevable



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 10:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15947579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kornevable/pseuds/kornevable
Summary: Reiko could have told Souko her name a long time ago, but losing on her own terms only seems right.





	flickering blue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! These two chapters about Reiko and Souko are truly what made me fond of Reiko, and honestly I wanted to shake her so badly after she told Souko her name ;;
> 
> This fic is set before the final challenge and replaces it, I guess. Enjoy!

This is bad.

This is really bad.

Reiko should have stopped coming here after the first day. There is nothing pulling her towards this part of the forest and she has no obligation to look out for every fool wandering into places they shouldn't.

And yet. And yet. Days passed and keep passing, each of them with one hour of pure freedom and relaxation—a feeling she hasn't experienced for a long time, if ever. She racks her brains searching for a memory springing up similar emotions, and all she does is chuckle at how empty-handed she comes back. Maybe that's why she stayed; maybe that's why she feels drawn to this girl who doesn't know anything about her.

Souko is bad at everything she challenges her to. If she wasn't so obvious about her feelings and her thoughts, Reiko would have wondered if she was a youkai trying to deceive her simply to humiliate her—but Souko is real, earnest and innocent, just putting all her heart into a task that shouldn't require that much effort. Reiko is being stubborn, and can stop this masquerade whenever she wants, if she utters a single word.

But she finds herself unable to, her throat closing up as soon as she attempts to curl her lips around her own name. She isn't doing it out of malice, she doesn't think so; there is just something incredibly soothing and pleasant in being around Souko, calming her nerves and reducing the mild headache she gets because of too many loud youkais sneering at her. Pretending to be someone she isn't is almost unnecessary, and Reiko likes it that way.

“Why are you so hell-bent on knowing my name?” she blurts out one day, without thinking.

Reiko is watching some youkai bird flying from one tree to another, and Souko probably thinks she's just following the clouds' movement in the sky. For a few seconds both of them are silent, and Reiko is about to sigh and say to forget it when Souko speaks.

“Isn't it sad to know someone, to know their face, but you can't call out to them?”

The spell is broken. Reiko sits up so suddenly that Souko startles, staring at her with confusion, questions and wonders visible in her eyes—and maybe there is a bit of hope dancing behind them, like this sentence sparked more than just shock. Reiko's face doesn't let anything seep through, although her heart is beating fast and her mind is collecting shards of bemusement.

“So you want to be able to casually shout my name to get my attention?” she says, a slight smirk on her lips.

Souko's cheeks take a faint shade of pink, and while her smile is shy and unsure, she is sincere. “A name has different meanings, and associating a face with one is nice. F-For example, people think blue suits me because of my name.”

Reiko doesn't tell her how right these people are, and simply laughs, lying down once more, content, as Souko offers her her bag to sleep on.

* * *

Physical intimacy is a concept Reiko is not familiar with, unless it involves the contact of her fist to someone's jaw. That's why she feels perplexed by her strong desire to touch Souko's hair, or to grab her hand for no apparent reason (she remembers grabbing her wrist to lead her away, and her fingers burn from the memory). Souko looks so delicate that she fears she might break her if she puts too much strength in her grip, and that's the only thing that restrains her from acting like an idiot.

Not that Souko really is weak. She doesn't back down from anything, and it's only a shame that her body can't keep up with her mind.

She will tell her today. There is no point in dragging these challenges for so long, if it costs Souko her health. Perhaps it's the most entertaining time of her day, but Reiko isn't one to ignore what is before her eyes, and letting Souko get sick is out of the question.

She finds her waiting at her usual spot, deep in thought. The youkais are babbling nonsense, though Reiko has become immune to their stupidity and has tuned them out a long time ago.

“Is thinking all you ever do?”

Souko lifts her head and immediately a smile replaces her forlorn expression. Reiko frowns.

“You look upset.”

“Ah, it's nothing serious,” Souko softly replies. “I'm just being silly.”

Reiko plops down next to her, her hands landing in the grass and gripping a few strands. She notices Souko's hands folding in her lap, like she didn't know where to put them.

“Well, everyone is a bit stupid,” Reiko retorts. “Some people more than others.”

“That's not very kind of you to say that,” Souko chides, but there is no heat in her words.

“Not my fault it's true.”

Souko glances at her, a bit apprehensive, a bit nervous, and Reiko can't find a reason behind her behavior, unless yesterday's conversation affected her more than she thought. What, did she really think there was a problem with her wanting to know her name?

“So, what's the challenge today?” Reiko asks, waving a hand in Souko's general direction. “Are you well enough for something physical?”

Reiko pauses, and reconsiders her words. A smile stretches her lips.

“Actually, I'm going to decide for today's challenge. If I can tell what you're thinking, I win, if I guess wrong I'll tell you my name.”

Souko looks utterly lost at the strange request, though Reiko can't blame her—they've never done this kind of challenge before, and were it in any other context she would have called it ridiculous. Somewhere in her mind, a voice is telling her it _is_ ridiculous, serving as a pretense when she can simply give what Souko wants without shielding herself behind a loss. Maybe she needs it to feel strong enough—to entrust her name to someone that will cherish it.

“Alright,” Souko finally accepts, her wariness still present in her features.

Reiko turns her head to look at Souko. Her gaze briefly lingers on her pink cheeks and bright eyes, staring at her with wonder, and Souko's look is similar, and Reiko tries to not let the warmth spreading in her body reflect on her face. For someone who was an open-book for days, Souko abruptly seems distant, hiding her emotions, but that crease between her brows is still the same.

“You're worried you'll never win against me, and will never know my name,” Reiko states calmly.

Maybe it's a bit egoistical to presume Souko is thinking about her, but Reiko has met enough people to know a conversation with her never leads to something peaceful or good for either party. And after declaring this challenge, she couldn't escape anymore.

Souko is quiet, for a moment, then she opens her mouth, closes it, multiple times, before settling for laughing. And she laughs, laughs, the sound of her voice sending a new wave of awe in Reiko's entire core.

“It could have been that, but you guessed wrong,” Souko chuckles. “You lost.”

Reiko stares, surprise covering a thin layer of relief. Her face breaks into a grin.

“I got ahead of myself, I guess. Fine, you win.”

“Oh, and... uhm... Before you tell me your name, I want to tell you what I was thinking about.”

Reiko raises an eyebrow. Souko is fidgeting again, folding and unfolding her hands in her lap, but then she takes a deep breath and looks right at Reiko.

“You're going to find me weird, you probably won't talk to me again...”

Reiko firmly believes that this was her line.

“...But it's only fair that you know why you lost.” She licks her lips, lowering her gaze. “I... I was thinking about kissing you.”

Time slows. Something twists inside her, curls around her heart and pushes, gently, urgently, and Reiko decides that everything is one magnificently devised mess.

She gets up, standing right in front of Souko, who refuses to meet her eyes.

“Hey, Souko.”

It's the second time she calls her by her name and—it lights up hope in Souko's face, as she instinctively answers to the call and lifts her head. She looks ready to bolt out of here. Reiko faintly smiles as she bends down, not hesitating one bit, or faltering, even when her lips meet Souko's in a soft press that's hardly anything more than a touch. A breeze, sweet and kind, that neither of them knows what to make of. When Reiko pulls away, she's wearing an expression that not many people has seen, probably. She doesn't know what she looks like either, anyway.

“I'm Natsume Reiko.”

She sees the recognition dawning on Souko, sees the way her eyes widen, both from the kiss and the name. Usually, Reiko would have left, after doing such a foolish thing; she would have turned her back on anything that might happen. However, she's still waiting, tricking her fear with the sight of Souko slowly smiling at her, a little dazed, a little incredulous.

“Reiko,” she whispers. “It suits you.”

Reiko's voice takes on a wistful tone. “You're not afraid?”

“I know you won't hurt me. I know you're not like that.”

Whatever 'that' meant—violent, untrustworthy, unreliable, or a liar.

“You won't want to stay with me, after you see my ugly side.”

“Right now, I want to stay. I want to know you better and to understand why you always seem so lonely.” Souko presses her lips together. “I want to make you smile for real.”

And suddenly, Souko springs forward, wrapping Reiko in a tight hug. She's clinging to her back.

“I can reach out to you, now.”

Perhaps it's a whim. Perhaps it's the honest words. Perhaps Reiko has always wanted someone to say these heartfelt words to her, only for her, so she hugs back, bringing her arms around Souko's shoulders and squeezing. A soft chuckle escapes Souko's throat.

“Don't cry, Reiko.”

And it's Reiko's turn to laugh.

“I'm not crying, you idiot.”

Relationships are fickle. She knows that; the ones built upon lies even more so.

But she wants that, just once in her life, to feel accepted and wanted for who she is. She will think about the consequences later, after the tears dry.


End file.
